The bigger picture

'Now that we have these comprehensive complete catalogues of mutations on individual cancers, we will be able to see how each cancer developed, what were the exposures, what were the environmental factors, and that's going to be key for our understanding generally of how cancers develop,' he said.

Into the sun we will run

Wedding vows + promises of forever + 'to have and to hold' + my brief tears + your lovely family + a really beautiful bride + holding hands under the table + the sneaky bear dance + thoughts of becoming someone accountable to someone other than myself

如果邪惡 是華麗殘酷的樂章
它的終場 我會親手寫上
晨曦的光 風乾最後一行憂傷
黑色的墨 染上安詳

Favourite lines of the album so far

你说不该再相见 只为了瞬间
谢谢你让我听见 因为我在等待永远

周杰倫同名專輯 (2000)
范特西 (2001)
八度空間 (2002)

葉惠美 (2003)

七里香 (2004)
十一月的蕭邦 (2005)
依然范特西 (2006)
我很忙 (2007)
魔杰座 (2008)

And hearts too big to fit our beds

The Rescues, lyrics, lyrics, lyrics, finally getting those Jay Chou albums again, The Architecture of Happiness by Alain de Botton, am in desperate need of time to myself, Jont, knowing that no one can get me to do something I don't want to do, all these lovely songs on my iPod that I never really knew about, Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer, songs with lovely piano accompaniments remind me much of someone, Starsailor, trying to be brave, trying to be, trying, trying, trying

Playlist: The Rescues, Jont, Royal Wood, Ingrid Michaelson, Greg Laswell, Sanders Bohlke, Great Northern, The Magnetic Fields, Common, Eastmountainsouth, American Analog Set, Au Revoir Simone... really amazing stuff ♥

There is nothing better than this, discovering songs that get you through the days.

I won't change for anyone

23

Thin-crust pizzas + soooup + macaroons + cake + crazy company + much-needed conversation + a new read (Y)

I love my sister, she can be pretty awesome sometimes

And I have no face, I have wanted to efface myself

Miss: Bob Dylan, a familiar face waiting for me after a crappy Christmas shift just to walk five minutes with me, being out alone, nights waiting tables, that one night when you told me firmly that I was 'more than whimsical', not having to withhold parts of myself around people, my grandmother, Ryan Adams on repeat, late nights out and walking everywhere.

Am reading the December issue of Rolling Stones and it really has been a hell of a decade hasn't it?

It's funny how so much of me is still around, after all this time I look to the same things to get me by, to remind myself what all this is about, it's hard to tell at which point of time they became constants; a delicate sort of order in this chaos, the best me I can possibly be right now, I'm holding on to every last part of this person I'm still slowly getting to know

It is your wings that make you beautiful

The commissioning ball was more interesting than expected, wasn't much of a zombie and managed to go swimming in the afternoon before that. Spent nearly three hours after that milling around waiting for photographs to be taken and people to decide their next course of action before actually being driven around in a car from one place to another ('joyride') before ending up at dbl O with nothing much more than a tequila shot and then some before getting a ride back to Ryan's place. In all, it was pretty good

Christmas eve: finally move ass off the couch in two in the afternoon (in boy clothes no less) and go in search of food; find biscuits and have a few and read the papers for a bit until Ryan awakes suddenly, possibly due to all the noise I am inadvertently making. Crawl onto couch with boyfriend ('Ryan') and coax him into a vertical position.........only to have him reach for the Wii. The rest of the afternoon, as we say, is history.

Leave for dinner with my mother ('Are you going to be needing some pepper spray? I already have one' {in our Europe Trip Safety Precautions conversation}) and sister as boyfriend ventures forth into Christmas eve crowds; meet him after for dessert, book shopping, a bit of Professor Layton, and the midnight showing of Sherlock Holmes; love the plot, action, very good acting, and Robert Downey Jr. (Y) and now it's early Christmas morning and my playlist is serving me well and I am feeling a small wave of appreciation for my family and best friend in the whole world ♥

Made my day: Ryan, getting to watch a movie with my most favourite person, my yellow shoes, R2D2 (!), my mother actually liking what I got her, my sister not thinking my getting her a one-year subscription to the National Geographic as a present is lame, and Jingliang being terrific :-)

And now, sleep. Sleeeeeeeep.

One Tree Hill III

Nate teaching Haley to do a jump shot (Y) (Y) (Y)

'Was that your jump shot? Cause if that was your jump shot, I can't date you anymore.'

I love these two I really do, especially after he says '.....it was actually kind of sexy' no one can really blame Haley for being in love with him

Hello James Lafferty hellooo

One Tree Hill II

Ryan Adams playing in episode eleven, Peyton smiling because of her dad, Nate quitting the basketball team (temporarily of course); one of the best episodes ever

Mowgli and the Caterpillar Rocket says:
bu jian bu san
wo bu hui chi dao de
olivia says:
we'll see, cheng
Mowgli and the Caterpillar Rocket says:
xiang xin wo, zhu qing

One Tree Hill

'You're both so broody. You could brood together.'

Two good things about this season: James Lafferty, and lots and lots of Bosshouse

Oh but you're lovely

Spent my time at the commissioning parade yesterday holding a running commentary of the parade while watching it with Rebecca and again failed miserably at identifying Ryan from the stands... yes failed. Miserably. Ah well he didn't seem too surprised when I later confessed that I watched the entire parade not knowing which tiny face he was, so. Apparently he knows me better than I think. Dinner was better than expected but that could be due to us both (Rebecca and I) being quite hungry. Thanks Rebecca for being great company :-)

Got to catch up with some previous schoolmates, and got to watch someone else's story in the making; it was slightly odd how aware I was of the discrepancy between how detached the moment was to me, almost like watching a silent film, and yet how important those few minutes must have been for them when he was on one knee and with their hearts racing and perhaps her mind a whirlwind going 'oh my goodness he's asking me to marry him' and later on when we sat beside each other briefly while waiting for the boys to be done I congratulated her and she smiled and thanked me, I wanted to ask her how she was feeling, what she was thinking, because what I was thinking was: this lovely person sitting beside me has just been proposed to and I watched it happen. I think it is a lovely sort of magic that makes a person love and care about someone so deeply that the lifelong commitment is worthwhile; it is terrifying and unimaginable and unfathomable but it must be absolutely lovely.

All of it is surreal, that it was only at the start of this year that the madness began, and now as part of it ends things are so different but yet somehow they are quite the same, us two: me still headstrong and him always constant, unwavering, my baseline

*

The past few days my eyes have been a riot and now they're at it again. The last time this happened (exactly three days ago) my eyes were red first thing in the morning so this isn't looking too good :-(

Hopefully the sky holds up tomorrow morning so I can get some decent sun with my swim. Tuition tomorrow afternoon at the faraway place followed by dinner back in the east with my father. Then I think it's likely to be no sleep at all till my mother is expected to be back at 5:55 a.m., then lunch and Europe plans and then tuition in the evening my Tuesday is going to be one long rocking day. And I will probably show up at the commissioning ball the following night a zombie (Y) I. Win.

Giraffes are pretty awesome